Throughout my years in elementary school, I was accustomed to believing I was an above average student. On numerous occasions, I was rewarded with many compliments by students and teachers telling me I was so smart as well as trophies to honor my “great achievement.” However, as I entered my new year into middle school, this image of myself began to change. After a few months into my sixth grade year, I began slowly putting little effort in my homework. Report cards soon followed, and I realized, I had just gotten my first C. Feeling disappointed, I wanted to do better in my next year and made a goal to get straight A’s. And I did. But it hadn’t occurred to me why I failed myself to begin with or even why I wanted those grades so much. All I knew was that A’s were good. So, time passed and I arrived at my high school years.

          I did fairly well in ninth grade, but in tenth grade, the grades dilemma returned—another  C on my report card. And for the same reason as well. At this point, I began thinking, “Why am I doing this? I know that I want straight A’s so, why am I not doing what I need to do?” It took me another year to finally understand what my problem was. I simply did not care for the classes. In all the classes that I do well, I always have at least one form of motivation or benefit in trying my best. With math, I feel rewarded by being capable of quickly solving equations. In my language classes, I feel proud to be able to speak to a foreigner in their tongue. However, in English and history, I’ve never had a “valid” reason set in my mind. Although I do enjoy some aspects of history, I never felt that notetaking was my forte. It always felt forced. And I knew that I didn’t like the English and History class process, but I never made the connection that I felt I had something better to do.

          Once my AP World History class came around, I knew that I would be in for a challenge. In fact, I didn’t even want to take the class. I remember, during the last few days of my freshman year, I learned that I was being placed in an AP World History class. Knowing that I struggled in both English and History class, I decided to ask my counselor to switch me into a regular history class. However, to my surprise, he disagreed with my proposal. He asked my why I didn’t want to be in the class and I said, “Because I don’t believe I will do well in the class. I have a B in English and I know that I tend to struggle in history classes.” My counselor still disagreed and believed that I was capable. I, on the other hand, did not believe so but left the class how it was. Throughout the whole year, I doubted myself and because of that, I didn’t do well in the class. I wanted to believe it was because I just wasn’t good at those subjects, but deep down, I knew that I simply didn’t try hard enough.

          Not realizing what my problem was yet, I continued to lack motivation for the following English and history classes. By the time my Junior year was ending, the cycle had gotten worse and I was faced with a bigger issue. I had two C’s on my progress report and I began feeling more and more stressed, angry at myself for not trying harder. I sucked up all my doubt and tried my best to do better in at least on of the classes. Through hard work and dedication, I managed to get B on my final report card for history.

Going through all of those emotions with these classes, I learned that I shouldn’t be so persistent on miniscule details. I never believed it before, but all you need to do to succeed in your goals is to believe.